Disney Venture Can Be Mother-Daughter Trip

(Syndicated Column) – DEAR DR. BROTHERS: I have been waiting for several years to have a child old enough to enjoy going to Disney World, and now that my daughter is 6, I find out that my husband has no intention of going there or anyplace like it for the rest of his life. I was totally shocked. I know he doesn't like crowds and big, commercial extravaganzas (no, he won't be going to Las Vegas, either!), but I feel like a trip to Disney is almost a kid's birthright these days! How can he be so mean and selfish? What do you think of his attitude? – P.C.

DEAR P.C.: Some parents try to take a child-centered approach to everything. As soon as they bring the baby home from the hospital, they drop everything and take on the baby's perspective. Sometimes those types of parents are better able to cope with the huge demands of parenthood because they are now accustomed to putting the child's needs first; sometimes they go overboard and have a hard time distinguishing between the child's needs and the child's wants, and end up with an overindulged youngster. And then there are the parents who enthusiastically join in the "kid stuff" simply because it gives them a chance to be like kids again themselves. Your husband isn't having any of it when it comes to theme parks. You didn't mention how he deals with the kid things otherwise, so I assume he is a good father and an involved one. He isn't going to compromise on this issue, but that doesn't mean you and your daughter can't go to Disney World. I'll bet you wouldn't have any trouble finding another family to double up with, or a favorite youthful aunt or uncle who would have fun in Fantasyland. Just think – now you'll be able to opt out when your husband wants to take the family camping in the wilderness in a few years, or on some other adventure where you'd rather not go. This is a good time for compromise without blame. Have fun!

Dad clearly has his head in the sand. I give this marriage 5 more years tops, unless it's already over and they're on cruise control until the kid graduates from college. That's always healthy.